My parents’ divorce made my marriage stronger

I was young when my parents separated, probably around 7 years old.  When I was about 13, they divorced.  Those were very hard years for our family, and the years after were hard too.  I stayed with my mom, my brother ended up going with my dad.

I think our family went through what would be considered “normal” with a split family… We harbored feelings of hurt and anger, had our outbursts, spent weekends NOT with our other parent like we were supposed to, etc.  But in the end, we found our normalcy and we survived.

My parents made a point to get along with each other, especially as time passed and we got older.  As I started getting to an age where I was thinking about marriage, they both made it a point to talk to me about the importance of working at a marriage, of making things work, of letting God lead and being sure HE was the center of the marriage.  They talked about the importance of talking in the hard times, of validating feelings, of sharing how you feel rather than placing blame. They should know, after all…

When Gary and I got married, mom and dad talked to me again.  I have no doubt dad talked to Gary about it too, when Gary went and asked for his blessing and permission to propose. And at our wedding dad walked me down the aisle, then sat next to my mom, and then walked with her arm in arm out of the church when the wedding was over.  When we had birthday parties or family BBQs, we could invite both of my parents without feeling awkward or having to choose between one or the other.

Even after getting married, my dad talked to me often about things, wanting to spare Gary, myself and our kids what he, my mom, my brother and I went through.

Their concern in sharing with me where they went wrong, their encouragement and words of advice, and above all, to rely on God to see us through the good times and the bad has made my marriage stronger, and my love and respect for them even more abundant.  AND, I have no doubt my marriage is stronger because I heeded their words, took their advice, and put them into practice.

If you’re willing to take the step to get married, be willing to fight for it! Remember your vows and stay true to the words you spoke: For better AND for worse, for richer AND for poorer, in sickness AND in health… 

I sure miss my dad’s words of encouragement, but I can still hear his voice and see his tears (some of pride, some of regret), and am reminded that even though I can’t hear them in person anymore, they’re always in my memories.  Thank you mom, thank you dad. And thank you God, for giving me the best parents a girl could ask for.  Our life may not always seem picture perfect, but it works for us, we are so blessed and I am so thankful!


  1. What a blessing your parents gave you with the wisdom of growing and maintaining your marriage. Marriage can be and is often, a lot of work. I know that with my husband we have had our good days and bad but we are committed to making our relationship last. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Such a blessing to have this story to remember. I agree, everyone always fight for your family 🙂

  3. What wonderful parents you had and it's so great that you have such memories of your father. I feel the same way about my father and the encouragement he gives our family. Relationships can be tough and it's always good to have someone to talk to that has been through it all in the past.

  4. That is good to have memories like that!

  5. Your story sounds almost identical to mine! My parents got divorced when I was young, but always made it a point to be friendly and that really made a difference in my upbringing. I know my marriage is strong today because of my parents' input and the fact that we put God as our foundation. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  6. I feel like my story is similar. My parents divorced when I was 2 so I never knew them together. Both of them are on their 3rd marriage. I really don't know my father much as I stopped talking to him in Jr. High. I don't remember my mom saying much to me about it, but I knew from what I had seen that I wanted to find the man in my life and stay with him forever. Probably why it took me longer to get married. When John and I married I told him that he had to be in it forever because there is no divorce allowed. He was married once before. He agreed!! Its not always easy, but I love my husband and my family. I would not take it back for anything.

  7. Sounds like you are really blessed with a wonderful family!

  8. Your parents were wise not to bad talk each other and to set an example, even where they erred. I'm sorry you don't have your dad around anymore, it is so weird not to have parents around when they're gone! Love you 🙂

    My marriage is built on the opposite of my parents marriage….hoping that it works out for the better 😉

  9. desertmama says:

    Sweet and sad at the same time, but I'm thankful your parents did what they did for you and your brother. It has helped my marriage as well!

  10. I have a lot of respect for your parents that they handled it that way and helped to make your marriage stronger! So many people have gone through divorce and yet so few handle it this way with their children and it becomes a cycle. I applaud them! That last paragraph made me cry though about your dad not being here! So glad you took his advice though when he was able to offer it! I'm sure he'd be proud that you have carried it with you! 🙂

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